Friday, February 4, 2011

Hercules, No. 3 - The Revenge of Hercules (1960)


So…1960 was no time to stop making Hercules movies, not when the two thus far had enjoyed incomparable international success, and the peplum genre only just taking off. Even in such an enviable position, those largely responsible for Hercules and Hercules Unchained, star Steve Reeves and director Pietro Francisci, opted out – they were apparently more interested in not being successful.

Not that a sudden break in continuity can stop a franchise, when producers will it into being. Italian rights to the “Hercules” name transferred from Galatea Film to SPA Cinematografica – I’m not even sure how that works This changed the U.S. distributor scenario as well, with James H. Nicholson and Samuel Z. Arkoff taking over for former distributor Joseph E. Levis (who too was moving on for some damn reason). Working for fantastic profiteer of B-movies, AIP, this duo lent unparalleled funds to new Italian director Vittorio Cottafavi, to put out the most lavish Hercules to-date: The Revenge of Hercules.

That’s the Italian title (translated), at least. Despite the draw of the “Hercules” name in the U.S., it was changed abroad to Goliath and the Dragon. Yes, the Hercules character is renamed “Goliath,” because strong is strong. There are two theories as to this title switch…

One. With the change in actors playing Hercules (to be recounted below), it was felt audiences would feel betrayed, and question issues of characters, continuity, you know, all those anal sequel concerns the Italians rarely bother with. This is unlikely.

Two. With new plagiarists representing the Hercules brand, there was some fear of legal reprisal. As though you can even copyright something like “Hercules,” who predates Christ by a couple of millennia. This actually poses a serious question. Italy did not necessitate Herculean rechristening, and all their Hercs are considered part of a single franchise, a designation which does not extend to unrelated Herculeses such as The Three Stooges Meet Hercules, or the non-Hercules Italian pepla which got rebranded as Hercules films in the U.S. – yeah, it’s complicated. And that surely doesn’t include movies from entirely different eras, like Schwarzenegger’s atrocious Hercules in New York, or the Disney cartoon.


One of The Revenge of Hercules’ major shakeups is the recasting of the Herc. Thus begins a glorious Italian tradition of cycling through anonymous bodybuilders like Queen Onfale. Idolizing bodybuilders was a sudden fad, causing ten score of them to act in forgotten ‘60s pepla. Only the best of ‘em got to be Hercules, and judging by their performances, once shudders to imagine what the worse bodybuilders were like.


Despite an Italian-sounding name of Louis Lorenzo Degni, Mark Forest was born in Brooklyn. This name change is just one of many bits of Italian chicanery devised to mask a movie’s international origin – for the U.S.’s benefit. But Degni – er, Forest – was an American, and a muscleman of a most astoundingly stereotypical origin – Muscle Beach! We’re talking Venice (California, that is…we’re not to Italy yet!), where in the ‘50s tourists observed those ungodly freaks of nature, the bodybuilders, in their natural habitat. All the stories of beach bullies kicking over some scrawny nerdlinger’s sandcastle? They come from here. So Forest had a suitably uncultured past before donning the great demigod’s groin-cloth, which makes it all the more surprising this meathead opted to pursue freaking opera once the peplum’s strength sapped.

That’s Mark Forest’s background. On screen, he is as uncharismatic and vapid as Steve Reeves, with an equally ridiculous physique. His Hercules is even as much of a shameless asshole, though it’s possible this personality flaw was just carried over from the he-men’s own personalities.

Forest’s physical performance is surely dandy enough, as he scrambles down a chasm made out of Greece’s (or Rome’s) indigenous papier maché rock formations. It’s all so much cheapo “Star Trek” stuff, which marks The Revenge of Hercules out as an astoundingly high-budget Italian picture. With the freedom of funds provided by international producers, the film lavishes the joint up with a panoply of monsters, such as old Cerberus here. That’s a full-scale, fire-breathing Muppet, which Hercules easily bests in conflict. We’ve reached a wonderful confluence of filmmaking ambition and unintentional cheesy hilarity, which makes The Revenge of Hercules a surprisingly fun B-movie.


And once again they’re reassembling myth like a foul Frankenstein monster. Recalling Hercules’ Twelve Tasks, this is the final one. Which leaves the story to –

Wait up. It seems I’m actually watching Goliath and the Dragon, which differs from the Italian version in more ways than mere dubbing. For one, it has a dragon. For another, all the details directly relating to Herculean myth are altered to fit a generic “Goliath,” and many inessential facts are changed up too, for the Hades of it. (This leads to ridiculous confusion later on, for which I am thankful to certain other recourses.)

For now, it means Hercules – er, Goliath – is not in Hades, but simply the Cave of Horrors. He seeks the Blood Diamond, which may as well make it Sierra Leone. So, a helpful narrator informs. Goliath isn’t on some quest of the gods, but has simply been charged with retrieving this gem for the local corrupt tyrant, King Eurytus (Broderick Crawford – an Oscar winner in a Hercules film?!).

Eurytus rules the Kingdom of Oechalia with dignity and insanity. Early in the peplum cycle, the filmmakers remain hopelessly in love with complex political intrigue as an end unto itself, and perhaps this entry provides the worst of it. There are at least half a dozen other figures in the palace, each with different motives and allegiances, scheming and counter-scheming like a Pirates of the Caribbean feature. Plot complications, the Italians never do well. Look at the frankly illogical (and therefore good) horror movies they’d later put out. It doesn’t help that motivations change in the English version, and thus make even less sense. Let’s try to parse this out…

Eurytus simply wants to attack Thebes. Why? Plain evil, really. He will not do this until Hercules is dead – and yes, I’m just calling Goliath “Hercules,” ‘cause it’s easier. Hence why he sent Hercules to the Cave of Horrors, which no man could survive, even though Eurytus personally set all the traps there ahead of time.

Present as well is a likely seductress, Ismene (Gaby André). As I know the seductress type completely overpowers the genre in later entries, I over-focused upon this surprisingly useless character here. Which made things worse for me, since I then didn’t pay attention to elements which are important.

Such as the bland blonde “other girl,” who remains useful to the genre…for now. Today she’s Thea (Federica Ranchi). She is boring, she is blonde, and she wants romance.

That romance is with Illus (Sandro Moretti). Here, the English changes really fuck things up. Originally, Illus is Hercules’ son. In Goliath, he is his brother. Why the change? Maybe the 2-year difference in age, never mind Hercules’ demigod immortality (which is never ascribed to Goliath, however). Confusing! It’s unusual in a Hercules flick to grant the romance to someone who isn’t Hercules. Doing so actually gives such a normal subplot great depths of convolution.

But the film understands (I think) how messed up everything is, which is why we often cut back to Hercules in his surrealistic hellscape, a bubbling, sulfuric mass of flames and ridiculously colorful horizons (in Colorscope). A giant-ass bat-cat thing with wings attacks Hercules; he kills it. He gets the Blood Diamond. He escapes. These purely Hercules elements are so simple, not at all like what’s going down in Oedema – er, Oechalia.


Oh well [sigh], let’s get back there, and convolute things up some more. Eurytus wants to kill Illus, as a relation of Hercules, but he cannot until he is certain Hercules is dead. Assuming Hercules has survived his unsurvivable deathtrap (on no justifiable grounds, though he is correct), Eurytus rather stays Illus’ execution (Illus has been captured and imprisoned in one of many unfollowable scenes), and sends him off home. Illus cannot sense an obvious ploy when he sees one, so he goes right on his merry way.

Thea is left unmolested this whole time. The reason being (pity a Hercules film which tries to explain itself) that Eurytus wants to marry Thea – for you see, Thea is the princess of Oeillade. Which will solidify Eurytus’ grasp over the land, as he’s a mere spurious usurper now, like Mark Forest himself.

Want to try for more conspirators, more confusion? Sure, why the Hades not! Acting as Eurytus’ vizier is Tyndaros (Giancarlo Sbragia), who is brother to Ismene, Eurytus’ former lover. Eurytus’ current lover (though Tyndaros would like her to be his own) is Alchinoe (Wandisa Guida), satisfying the need for a sultry redhead in every entry. Though one of Eurytus’ conquered peoples, Alchinoe conspires with him, agreeing to feed false information to Illus, on agreement that she will wed Eurytus. Even though he intends to wed Thea, and will thus betray Alchinoe when the gettin’ is good. Miss one mumbled line about their agreement, and you’ll then be forgiven for believing the nonsense Alchinoe tells Illus.

Nonsense such as the notion that Hercules wants to also marry Thea (I don’t see what these countless hulks see in her). Add to that we learn, but not for a great long while, that Hercules is already married – to Deianira (Leonora Ruffo). If one struggles to align these Hercules films with the Grecian myths, then continuity is all wonked up, seeing as Hercules was Deianira’s man before shacking up with Iola (the boring female lead of the Steve Reeves Herculeseseses). This ignores Megara, Omphale, 50 freaking virgins in one night. It also ignores the dudes Hercules schtupped, like Iolaus and Hylas and Elacatas and Iphitus and sweet Dionysus but Hercules was a slut!


We’re getting lost in lunacy again. Time for a simplistic detour over to Hercules himself (playing a supporting role in his own film), as he delivers the Blood Diamond to the gods. Following the Italian narrative, this absolves him of his years-long labors; in the English variation, I cannot explain why he deposits the gem here, as it’s supposed to tie into Eurytus. And Hercules has a vision of the God of Vengeance (not Yahweh, the Greek one), who says some intentionally vague things about prophecy and whatnot.

Anyway, that resolved, back to confusion! Illus thinks Hercules, his happily married brother and/or father, wants Illus’ gal. Which explains, in Illus’ mind, just why Hercules is always such an unreconstructed asshole towards him. And Hercules is an Olympian-level shitheel towards his…relation, generally smacking him around and tying him to trees for absolutely no reason whatsoever. There is, eventually, some specific justification towards this behavior. The easy reason is merely that Hercules is a mean, rude, cruel superhuman in general – how Mark Forest distinguishes his performance from Steve Reeves the simple idiot.


Hercules meets Illus and Alchinoe. A fabulously unconvincing bear suit (not pictured) attacks. Hercules kills it. Hercules kills all animals with thoughtless abandon. And Illus wanders off, unable to do the whatever to Hercules she’d planned to do. So no seduction-by-redhead for you today.

Alchinoe instead wanders on back over to the Kingdom of Oenophile, where she is captured and fed to immobile rubbery snakes. About time we started losing some of the dead wood.

Meanwhile, Hercules heads home to Deianeira, which is the first we become aware of her. In celebration of his great success re: the Blood Diamond, Hercules throws a great, orgiastic shindig at his villa, which resembles nothing so much as a frat party, togas and all. One of Eurytus’ random assassins is here, who is never seen before or after, because things are overloaded with plot as it is. He puts a magical poison in Hercules’ chalice. And then…

Well, Eurytus is the sort of baddie who must brag about his schemes to everyone within earshot. Thea, locked away in prison still being a perfect MacGuffin, learns of the poison. And because the wind is blowing just so, she hollers into the wind about this. Owing to either the gods or general ridiculousness, her coherent screams travel over to the party, and are heard by Illus. Okay then… He knocks the chalice out of a thirsty Hercules’s grasp. A dog sups on the spilled swill, and dies.

Hercules, being thoughtless, short-tempered, brutish, and an ass, blames Illus not just for the dog’s death, but also, more damningly, for spoiling the toast. He smacks Illus around a little more. And Illus, conforming to Eurytus’ desires even when he doesn’t know ‘em, responds by obligingly riding off and becoming Eurytus’ prisoner. Sometimes I’m not quite sure where this plot is headed.

For now, straight to a set piece. Let’s make it quick! Eurytus plots to sacrifice Illus, as a trap laid for Hercules. Hercules learns about this, via no means whatsoever, and rides into the Kingdom of Oecumenical in a brilliant disguise – clothing. For such strongmen, it counts! And Hercules battles a fricking elephant, which is actually impressive since for once the Animal Fight™ involves an actual animal interacting with the actor. The trainer is there onscreen overseeing it all, but we’ll forgive it. Hercules kills the elephant, all Rancor-like. He and Illus (and some third dude) escape.

Meanwhile…the color is bleeding! I don’t know if it’s meant to be surrealistic or just bad filmmaking, but this is the most needlessly colorful movie I’ve ever seen. Check out Eurytus here. That’s just the sky there, man, either that or I had peyote for breakfast.


Hercules takes Illus off to the gods, so we can get an answer to his son-(or brother)-specific assholism. The goddess inside explains it all, in a single, muttered, vague sentence. “You,” meaning presumably Hercules, shall lose “your love” if “he” gets “his love.” Translation, and again thanks to others: If Illus marries Thea, which will happen if they defeat Eurytus, then Hercules is doomed to lose his wife Deianeira – to death. That’s a lot to parse out from a couple of unclear pronouns.

Though Hercules knew all this before (one presumes, unless he really is just a general bastard), hence his persecution of Illus. But upon hearing it again, he responds with typical anger and thoughtlessness. Hercules goes off and destroys his own villa, hoping to accomplish…what exactly? “Collapse like my shattered dreams!” Ah, he’s literalizing a metaphor!

His little tantrum over, Hercules rides off aimlessly with Illus and Diaiaiametbhs- his wife. She decides to resolve this latest nonsense, and prays to the gods to take her life – right then and there. So up comes a guy claiming to be a centaur even though it’s obvious he’s really a satyr, though in a later scene he is suddenly a centaur, and it turns out this is an Italian attempt to portray shape shifting. At least it’s a more successful fawn than in Manos: The Hands of Fate. At any rate, this…creature kidnaps Deianeira. Rather than do her in now, he carries her off to the Kingdom of Oesophagus so Eurytus can do it. And Hercules kills him (the satyr/centaur/man), though he escapes before can he die from it. Whatever.

It’s climax time. Hercules heads off to the Kingdom of Onomatopoeia to rescue Deianeira. Because there just has to be an epic battle in every peplum, the armies of Thebes are suddenly, randomly, purposelessly here to take Eurytus down. And Illus is busy doing nothing of value. So it’s a simple matter of destroying the city’s inexplicable subterranean supports, sword-fighting lotsa disposable dudes, then Hercules running into the dungeons to face off Eurytus and –

Not so fast! That’s how it went down in Italy, but the American producers insisted upon a damned dragon getting tossed in. They’d even already paid for one, and had it made! The Italians had no choice but to satisfy this demand, film it, even if they (for whatever reason) excised the dragon from their own film. I don’t know why; it’s the best thing about this movie. So in Goliath and the Dragon, as opposed to The Revenge of Hercules, Hercules goes and saves Deianeira from a dragon, and then goes and saves her (and Thea) from Eurytus. I surely don’t know how she got recaptured in the interim.

And about that dragon! One doesn’t expect much out of it, and it doesn’t disappoint. First there’s the adorable stop motion version, like in some bargain basement Jason and the Argonauts meets “Davey and Goliath” – hey, Goliath, I just realized that!


Then there’s the full-scale version Mark Forest must “battle” with. Since the unexpressive thing, sculpted perhaps over a barely-mobile crane, is incapable of doing anything, this duel consists of Hercules waggling a sword around for a while. At least that sword is as evidently artificial as the dragon.




And because it’s an Italian movie, no opportunity for eye-gouging is left alone.



And somehow the movie concludes with Illus and Theo marrying, even as Deianeira remains unkilled. Making that holy prophecy one great big lie. Unless the sequel addresses the issue… It won’t. There’s no continuity between entries, so let’s just chalk The Revenge of Hercules (or whatever you prefer) as being a grand, confusing spectacle. Like life!



RELATED POSTS
• No. 1 Hercules (1958)
• No. 2 Hercules Unchained (1959)
• No. 4 Hercules vs. the Hydra (1960)
• No. 5 Hercules and the Conquest of Atlantis (1961)
• No. 6 Hercules id the Haunted World (1961)
• No. 7 Maciste Against Hercules in the Vale of Woe (1961)
• No. 8 Ulysses vs. Hercules (1962)
• No. 9 The Fury of Hercules (1962)
• No. 10 Hercules, Samson and Ulysses (1963)
• No. 12 Hercules in the Land of Darkness (1964)
• No. 16 Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon (1964)
• No. 17 Hercules, Samson, Maciste and Ursus (1964)
• No. 18 Hercules and the Princess of Troy (1965)
• No. 19 Hercules the Avenger (1965)

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