With the accursed peplum subgenre coming to a long overdue end in the mid ‘60s, producers wishing to somehow do something more with the form had two options. One involved accepting the inevitable, and making however many more cheapos you could, to make that final scant lira. The other approach is more far-reaching, a desperate gambit to unnaturally extend the format’s lifeblood via some revolutionary method. Hercules and the Princess of Troy falls into that latter camp. It does not succeed.
American producer Joseph E. Levine, the man responsible for the original U.S. distribution of the codifying Hercules and Hercules Unchained (and therefore the one responsible for this entire peplum mess), took it upon his not inconsiderable shoulders to do something worthwhile with the “Hercules” name, after so many Italians had squandered it in stagnation. Forget cinematic strongmen! Levine accepted Herc’s new place in the entertainment firmament and instead tried to create a TV show, “Hercules.” Not a wholly ridiculous notion, considering how successful the much later Sam Raimi-produced Kevin Sorbo “Hercules” proved to be, even spinning off into the more epic “Xena: Warrior Princess.”
But that bit of chintzy ‘90s sub-Syfy CGI-monster cheez had the benefit of distance from the ‘60s pepla, which had worn out audience acceptance through sheer multitude. Conceivably, Levine envisioned his never-to-be “Hercules” as a successor to “The Sons of Hercules,” that TV hybrid which got so many undeserving pepla U.S. viewership. And a pilot (“The Princess of Troy”) was made, under the same Italian machine which was so lamentably prolific, directed (oddly enough) by a non-Italian, Albert Band. His is a notorious name, as the elder Band sired Charles Band, founder of Full Moon and Puppetmaster profiteer. But before that, the elder Band directed his own brand of dreck: I Bury the Living, Grand Canyon Massacre, Prehysteria!, Dracula’s Dog, Ghoulies II…He even produced Troll, and anyone even indirectly connected to Troll 2 is worthy of being immortalized in song.
This “Hercules” pilot became one of many which wasn’t picked up. Credit peplum burnout. But ever the moneyman, Levine did not let his product languish. Despite a mere 47 minute running time, Hercules and the Princess of Troy was released into cinemas as an honest-to-goodness movie (the graveyard of failed TV), and with the blessing of Italy’s Hercules producers, it officially became the penultimate entry in the series.
That connection to television, and a mightily truncated running time, provide Princess of Troy with enough distinction to be at least not like all the others…as we’ll see.
Gordon Scott plays Hercules with as little distinction as any of the other guys. We’ve seen this guy before in Maciste vs. the Vampire and Maciste in the Court of the Great Khan (or at least we’ve desultorily glanced over those entries). He was even in a proper Hercules, Hercules Against the Molock, though that unseen episode was about a Hercules impersonator, so…so Scott never really essayed the Hercules role until Princess of Troy, hoping beyond hope it’d become a regular thing for him here.
Actually, certain elements are obviously products of a television concept, such as intended once-per-episode events, and a supporting cast which is underutilized for the time being, never to be seen again. The regular setting would be Hercules’ “shipboat” Olympia, as he sails home to Thebes from…wherever. This affords a reusable set, this cheap, cheap, cheap shipboat with gigantic “H,” a delivery system for assorted one-off adventures.
Accompanying Hercules are Ulysses (Mart Hulswit) and Diogenes (Paul Stevens), neither of whom get much of a chance to make any impression here. They’re seemingly counters to Hercules’ brawn. Ulysses is – I’m just assuming based on the ancient hero’s reputation – the brainiac. Diogenes is the inventor, able to technobabble out whatever random concoction the plot demands, like Gadget Hackwrench or one of the characters from “The A-Team” I am unfamiliar with.
An omnipresent narrator fills us in on all this and much more, connecting the narrative tissue they just couldn’t be bothered to actually script. For as inelegant a device as this is, in peplum terms it is highly welcome, as it cuts through the stilted chaff, compressing a standard eventless hour and a half into something digestible. A shorter peplum is automatically a better peplum, surely at this late stage.
This, and regularly spaced commercial blocks, are relics of Princess of Troy’s TV origins. Another relic is the surprisingly high quality of the visuals, compared to the accidental sepia tone which plagues most of the genre. I don’t know if copies of this movie were preserved via some other means, one used for failed TV pilots, but whatever it is, it’s far more effective than leaving film reels out in the mud to be trod upon by gypsies, or whatever it is they do in Italy.
With all that effort gone into merely creating series tropes, little time is left over for the plot-of-the-week. Just as well. That takes place at Troy, and I’ve spent altogether too much brain power trying to reconcile a Ulysses/Troy story that has nothing to do with “The Iliad.” But the continued combination of Hercules and Ulysses in peplum after peplum is already very confusing, mythologically, so leaving that scab largely unpicked for now…
In a welcome change of pace from the more pedestrian pepla, Princess of Troy returns to the strongest notion in the entire Italian sword-and-sandals playhouse: the giant, rubbery monster. These things were staples of the early Herculeses, full-scale dragons featuring in The Revenge of Hercules and Hercules vs. the Hydra. On whatever generosity that is a mid-‘60s TV pilot budget, Princess of Troy offers up another life-size beastie, a ridiculous sea monster. The scenario is straight out of Clash of the Titans (either version, I’m sure; I’ve only seen the Harryhausen one): To appease the rampaging behemoth, the Trojans make the occasional virgin sacrifice, comely maidens lashed to the sea rocks like so many Andromedas. For whatever reason, monsters all prefer the delicious taste of virgin. If I were a buxom Trojan harlot (a wholly unlikely suggestion), I’d just have some sex and avoid the problem.
So Hercules has an hour’s worth of television, minus ads, to resolve Troy’s beast issue. Because Diogenes can exposit out an eventual solution with ease, they gotta eat up time in some other way. Cue, wholly unoriginally, a vicious tyrant (Steve Garrett as Half-King Petra) looking to wrest total power of the kingdom. To that end, he wishes the “accidental” death of the titular princess, who is for some confused and ignorant reason called Diana instead of Helen (Diana Hyland – ah hah, they were just reusing the actress’ name!). The nonsense that follows is of no value, suffice it to say that in the final act, Diana is lashed to the rock awaiting slobbery aquatic monsterism.
Hercules’ inevitable duel with the creature is undoubtedly the saving grace of Princess of Troy (and also the Princess of Troy). Not only is the thing fully articulated, with a range of motion that’d make Stan Winston’s alien queen from Aliens envious, but they are entirely generous with the atrocity’s screen time. Band, as an American director, doesn’t subscribe to that idiotic Italian notion that all battles must be as unintelligible as possible. None of that barely-there lion fight nonsense here! We get lengthy, unedited, wide shots of Hercules actually interacting with the monstrosity. And check that thing out!
Actually, the beast is so impressive, a single pic cannot contain its awesomeness!
Okay, we still need a few more!
Hercules triumphs, to no one’s surprise except Petra’s (who’s conveniently roasted into a Cajun crisp in the burning ocean – whuh?!), as Troy is not only freed of its irritating monster infestation, but they get weeks’ worth of tasty beast briskets as a result. The movie ends, as any good TV pilot must, with the promise or more and greater adventures to come. And with ridiculous cheesy laughter. Upon Princess of Troy’s theatrical release, surely they knew this wasn’t forthcoming. Nonetheless, the narrator rapidly glances over a panoply of untold formula tales, assuring us that whatever we’d consider a happy ending would come eventually – though don’t bother filming it. Then the movie just sort of peters out.
There’s not much to say about Hercules and the Princess of Troy, as it mostly stands as a curiosity in a franchise that – just – would – not – die. It was the final filmed effort to extend this particular Hercules name a little further, beyond all the laws of nature, and it already represents greater obstinacy than most dying franchises would muster. But somehow even at this stage, even when Italians had stopped filming pepla, it didn’t mean they couldn’t still be made. Still one to go…
RELATED POSTS
• No. 1 Hercules (1958)
• No. 2 Hercules Unchained (1959)
• No. 3 The Revenge of Hercules (1960)
• No. 4 Hercules vs. the Hydra (1960)
• No. 5 Hercules and the Conquest of Atlantis (1961)
• No. 6 Hercules id the Haunted World (1961)
• No. 7 Maciste Against Hercules in the Vale of Woe (1961)
• No. 8 Ulysses vs. Hercules (1962)
• No. 9 The Fury of Hercules (1962)
• No. 10 Hercules, Samson and Ulysses (1963)
• No. 12 Hercules in the Land of Darkness (1964)
• No. 16 Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon (1964)
• No. 17 Hercules, Samson, Maciste and Ursus (1964)
• No. 19 Hercules the Avenger (1965)
No comments:
Post a Comment