The Jungle Cruise Movie that Never Was

So one of my script ideas is officially dead. Disney has announced that Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are going to be starring in their big-budget-live-action version of the cult classic Disneyland ride. It is supposedly going to be written by one of the writers of Shrek and is going to contain that Night at the Museum vibe. Now, while I am not going to bash their take/direction on the attraction, I still wish I had my shot at it. I guess since I will never churn out the script in time, here is my overview of my film version of the Jungle Cruise.

I know for a fact that if I ran the teaser trailer to my movie, it would be a montage of exotic images of the scenery you’d see in the movie, with a very slow old-old-old school song playing in the background. My personal pick: “Someone’s Rocking my Dreamboat” by the Ink Spots. While this song slowly plays, you’ll see action-packed sequences and beautiful cinematography, but the only sound coming from the song.

My synopsis:
In New York City, a poor writer for a small independent newspaper (that is quickly going bankrupt during the cusp of the Great Depression) comes across a unique discovery. He notices that there has been an influx of disappearances by people traveling to South America in search of a free cruise down the Amazon River. So he takes his remaining money and travels to Columbia in search of the fabled cruise. Along the way he goes on a journey that takes him to destinations he could never imagine, while facing dangers that his wildest nightmares couldn’t create. All this is happening while a skipper dictates the journey as if he has seen it all before.

Small notes:
1) The soundtrack will be allllll music from the 1900s up until the 1940s. With songs from Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Fred Astaire, and other jazz legends.
2) The opening to the movie would consist of the main character walking down depressing streets as “I’ve Got Spurs that Jingle” plays in the background
3) The Amazon River will inexplicably turn into the Nile River and the Yangzi River, before reverting back to the Amazon
4) One mysterious character will be in the cruise with the main character and others: with him revealing himself as Walt Disney in the very end of the flick, looking for new ideas
5) There is no main villain, just a series of mishaps and adventures throughout the film. This includes escapes from native grounds, close encounters in a haunted temple, and an accidental running into a massive silverback gorilla like this one

Ah well, on to the next script. But if they pull a Big Thunder Mountain Railroad movie before I finish my script, I may have to seek a therapist.